The 5 Mel Gibson Netflix Movies I’ve seen summarized from memory

Mel Gibson these days is a pretty difficult public figure these days. He’s either controversial or basically forgotten. I looked up Mel Gibson on Netflix and was surprised to not find Road Warrior (which is what I wanted). Instead I saw a bunch of other Mel Gibson movies, and so I thought I’d rate them and summarize them purely from memory.

#5. Pocahontas

A British guy named John Smith travels to North America and meets a Native American named Pocahontas. Pocahontas can sing with all the voices of the mountain and paint with all the colors of the wind. She may have asked the grinning bobcat why he grins. John Smith and Pocahontas fall in love but Evil European Guy, and Militaristic Native American Guy, really drive the situation to a head where Pocahontas has to save John Smith from her dad, and John Smith probably saves the Native Americans from Evil European Guy.

One of the weaker post-Lion King Disney movies, and not one of Mel Gibson’s Netflix best

C

#4. Payback

Payback is based on the Parker novels by Richard Stark. I didn’t discover this till years later. The premise of the movie is that Mel Gibson, who I bet is named Parker in the movie, is betrayed by his partner and left for dead. Parker survives and returns to reclaim his portion of the cut of job. This is pretty important, Parker only wants what he considers rightfully his, a take on things so bizarre that the bad guys don’t seem to understand it.

He’s supposed to be a bad guy too, but he seems alright. He makes some guys hold up some suitcases at one point despite their arms getting tired. I think he fights Kris Kristofferson, who is the boss of the evil organization. He’s also in love with a prostitute. It’s not one of the better Mel Gibson movies.

C+

#3. Braveheart

I used to love Braveheart. Braveheart is about a guy I call Braveheart, after the lion from The Carebears. Braveheart got married in secret because of super creepo British laws (Braveheart lives in Scotland) but super creepo guys managed to get to his wife and probably kill her. This leads Braveheart to gather together a rebellion against the Creepo King. To his side he gets Crazy Irish Guy, Old Scot, and Old Scot Jr, and they charge around with their faces painted blue.

Then Braveheart gets captured and tortured to death, but not before he cuckolds Creepo King’s son. The end. I’d still probably enjoy the movie but to be honest I’m not interested in ever really watching it again. It’s kind of like Gladiator like that, I used to love it and now I don’t really care.

B-

#2. Get the Gringo

I recently watched this movie. I liked it. Gringo is an American guy who gets sent to Mexican Prison, where he has to sneak around and kind of pull a heist movie to escape and protect the people he reluctantly cares about. There’s a weary Mom, and a plucky street urchin kid, and a super evil crime lord. It’s pretty simple, but showcases some of Mel Gibson’s old strengths: gruff voice, narrative voiceovers, acting crazy, then acting crazy in a different way.

B+

#1. Chicken Run

Obviously the best Gibson Netflix movie and I don’t even remember it well. Gibson plays an American chicken who is sent to a  chicken prison, where he leads a Great Escape style escape. This is literally all I remember about the movie aside from the supremely confident belief that this movie is excellent, even though I can’t remember why.

A+

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