STREEP Fighter IV: Alpha Ultimate Edition

Let’s take a look at Meryl Streep. My roommate’s girlfriend said she was an example of good acting and I was like, “Huh, I can’t think of anything she’s done,” so I thought I’d do a little investigating.

As far as I can tell I’ve only seen four Meryl Streep movies. I’m going to rate these from least to best.

#4. The Devil Wears Prada

Aw man, this movie actually looks really good.

It has Anne Hathaway saying the line, “I’m not skinny.

Also it has Stanley Tucci. I love Stanley Tucci. Seriously, the Tooch is the best.

So the Mean Streeps is a powerful magazine Ayn Rand who takes under her wing the mousey proto-Princess of Morocco (or something like that I forget what Hathaway is IRL) and turns her into the powerful Ayn Rand Assistant she will later become in the movie only to give it all up later (for love or some other thing that Ayn Rand would despise).

Seriously, I was thinking I would not like the looks of this movie but gosh darn it, Streeps, you got me.

#3. Death Becomes Her

I saw this a long time ago.

Goldie Hawn? Isabella Rossellini? Bruce Willis? And Meryl Streep? Directed by the director of Back to the Future, Back to the Future II, and Back to the Future III? It looks like it’s about two immortal women battling each other to death over and over again.

You can’t see it but I just moved this movie up above The Devil Wears Prada because I suspect this movie is better than I first gave it credit for. I’ve got to give Meryl Streep some credit, I didn’t know she worked as a comedic actress. That already makes me far more interested in her. I suspect this movie isn’t good, I don’t remember enjoying it, but seriously this movie has a lot of talent packed into it. It might be worth a revisit.

#2. Fantastic Mr. Fox

Wes Anderson makes a movie based on a Roald Dahl story starring George Cluny, Meryl Streep, Bill Murray, and other people, that’s also claymation? About a Fox, who is fantastic?

Look man, I’m not made out of stone. I have only blood pumping through my veins. You expect me to turn my hateful gaze upon this, well I can’t, alright? I can’t. I’m only a man with needs and a deep sincere platonic love of anthropomorphic animal adventures.

*cough* *cough* Redwall *cough* *cough*

Well played Meryl Streeps. Well played. But even this pales in comparison to the Nicolas Coppola Cage collaboration masterpiece that we’ve waited generations to see.

#1. Adaptation

I’ve lived to see amazing things. I’ve seen a movie starring both Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze. I’ve seen Patrick Swayze in Road House. I’ve seen Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing. I will never see a Patrick Swayze team up with Nicolas Coppola Cage (father of Kal-El) and that pains me all the time.

But this movie is like the Face/Off of Meryl Streep movies. Seriously, this movie is dope.

Dope.

It’s a movie about a man with at win brother trying to write a movie adaptation about her book about orchids.

Sucka.

He also has a twin brother who is obviously writing the screenplay of True Lies. Sucka.

It also has Judy Greer, like one of the hottest women in the world that no one agrees with me is super hot.

The Streepster plays Susan Orleans, who is the author of the book Nicolas Coppola Cage’s character is trying to adapt.

Also the movie has a moment where it’s just Tree of Life.

OK, so having thought about it, Meryl Streep is pretty good. Adaptation is like one of my favorite movies, so that’s no small feat. I’m super picky, guys. You have to really pull hard to rank up with Conan the Barbarian.

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