Rise of the Silver- hey it’s that guy from Brooklyn 99

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. The new Fantastic Four trailer reminded me of it, so I tracked it down.

First off, I think it’s important to note that the Captain from Brooklyn 99 is in this movie, as is Chris Evans. That might not seem very important but the movie needs all the help it can get.

The premise of the movie is that the Silver Surfer, who actually is portrayed as having some cool abilities as showcased in the trailer, comes to Earth heralding the coming of Galactus. The Fantastic Four fight the Silver Surfer, he beats them, then Doctor Doom steals the magic surfboard, and things get worse as Galactus shows up. But it’s ok, since Sue Storm convinces the Silver Surfer to kill Galactus. What was that? Yes.

Galactus in this universe is a giant purple cloud.

Look, I know Mark Frost was one of the creators of Twin Peaks, but none of this is working for me. I’m skeptical a movie Galactus could ever really work, he’s a giant purple astronaut god who eats planets. Though, now that I’m writing it down, it does sound like an amazing movie.

Silver Surfer being capable of killing Galactus just doesn’t make any sense, by the way. I just wanted to throw that out there.

The movie also has some annoying comedic bits where Sue Storm is going bridezilla and Reed Richards is just being a really bad future husband. So there isn’t much to really sell anyone on it. Also, Jessica Alba looks a little strange in her Sue Storm getup.

I only watched this movie once and I have no interest in revisiting it. My suspicion is that the Fantastic Four are hard to make into a serious comic book movie because they’re so Silver Age sci-fi adventurers. Sort of a Lost in Space style type of thing. It’s probably not impossible, but I’m pretty skeptical it could really be done.

But I’ve been wrong before, so go for it Hollywood.

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