At first I was like “Avengers the movie” but then I was like, “Who am I?”

I was just thinking, “I would love to see superheroes fight thousands of CGI robots.”

And then I was like, oh yeah, Iron Man 2. That didn’t work out so well.

Then I watched this trailer. I mean, I watched it again, I’ve already seen it.

One of the important differences between this movie and Superman vs Batman: The Dark Punchening is that it does look like fun. The first Avengers movie was alright, I think it’s an entertaining romp from beginning to end. I get frustrated when I think about it because Loki should have won. He really should have. He had to work so hard to lose.

Contrast that dynamic with Mission: Impossible, where Ethan Hunt earned that victory by the end of the movie. That’s the problem when 8/10 of the people on your team are demigods with infinite power. Seriously, I don’t think they’ve capped either the Hulk or Thor’s upper limits.

Who do you pit against them? Asgard’s biggest nerd and Hawkeye, the weakest Avenger. And you know what? They still should have won because Hawkeye is serious quality goon. I wish they had played out that conflict a little more.

So evil robots invade the Earth and attack everybody and the Avengers have to stop them. It is their job, so that makes sense. It’s unclear to me what they’re avenging however, but the superhero team name was always a little nonsensical to me. In Avengers they were “avenging” the death of Phil, right? But what makes Phil so much more worth avenging than say, I don’t know, all the other people who died?

“You made one mistake, Loki, you killed the one named character we all liked.”

After this is Captain America: Civil War, or Captain America: The Most Annoying Major Marvel Event. I assume people are going to be mad at Iron Man for building a robot menace that almost conquered the world, but come on guys, mistakes are going to happen. Mistakes are going to happen. I might skip this movie because I’m actually more interested in the Avengers getting schwarma than fighting robots. Like, them hanging out and being friends is more compelling to me than them fighting robots.

I don’t even know who I am anymore.


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